It seems to me that everything that is worth anything is hard to come by. Hard work pays off. Hard times bring happiness. Lately, things have really been hard.

I took about a week off from writing. I had been inundated with emails, phone calls and texts. This was becoming a full time effort, and although it is necessary for me to tell this story, it is also important that I not let it consume my life and thoughts.

I have come to realize that people can really be difficult when you talk about things that make them feel uncomfortable.

I have seen that people want to take a side, they believe that they need to take a side, for whatever their reason is.

I want people to understand that I also will take a side.

Just because I take the side that may not follow the norm or agrees with your opinion, please respect, as I do, the fact that I am still allowed to take a side.

I have had to defend my opinion on the daily for speaking out and defending the police and the conservative values that I hold. I will continue to do this. I understand that this can come at a cost, but I truly believe that this cost is necessary, now more than ever.

I carry an angst and anxiety that many will not understand. I hear and know the inner circle of what is actually happening within the community that burned. I can see and feel what is coming for those who live there. I fear for my parents and friends who have homes and businesses who will become affected by these decisions.

My husband will be leaving sooner rather than later. This is not by choice. Many will say it is, but it is being forced. These brave men and women are being pushed to their brink. Those who make decisions are taking advantage of those who still remain to do this almost impossible work. I hope everyone knows that this is very, very HARD.

Matt shared a story with me that told me all that I needed to know. He said that those who are most affected by this tragedy, people of color within the community, are the ones who are reaching out and building bridges the most. They are waving him down, asking him to dinner in their establishments and waving as he drives by. They are talking and reaching out. They are saying they need the police. They are asking for help.

He said that the angriest and most disrespectful of all are those who are not people of color. They hurl insults, yell, record, demand, disagree, argue, accuse and disrespect. They continue to call those officers when in trouble or needing help. The difference is, when they do so they dictate, disagree, name call and even try to hurt. They are choosing to make this HARD.

Here is what this will get you, and if you disagree, you are not paying attention:

You will get officers who do not show up for work. They will call in sick, take vacation, and stay home. This will leave you with fewer people when you actually need them.

You will get officers who do not proactively drive through your neighborhoods. This has statistically proven to deter crime. This is what community policing is all about. It is about relationships and presence. This has and will continue to come to an abrupt end. Would you go into a store where people frowned at you and called you names each time you drove by? Would you take the chance that someone would call to set you up to fail and make you vulnerable?

You will and are, getting officers who will leave this profession all together. They will say goodbye to these communities and move on with their lives. Many will leave law enforcement and retire. Many will go where there is appreciation, respect and safety as a guarantee.

What you will be left with is the exact thing many are asking for. You will not have to approve defunding of the police. You will not have any to do this job. You will make it unworthy and impossible. You will make them into social workers and therapists. You will ultimately turn all of your cities to dust.

You will sacrifice your personal safety for social justice warriors. You will take rhetoric and make it truth.

You will allow the emotions of children guide your decisions. You will listen to those who choose to argue instead of listen, for it is more important for them to be seen as right. The ultimate goal is to live without rules and anyone telling them what to do. They can self-regulate, and will prove everyone that this is possible. Those who have lived know that human nature does not prove that to be the reality. Humans hurt each other. Human nature is fallible. It is broken and fragile. It is why we need God. Those who want these insane changes could not possibly know Him. It is evident by their behaviors. It is scary at best. I pray that it changes.

In the end, of course this is a hard profession. Of course it is. Anything worth anything is hard. It just is. What I am asking is, why do many feel the need to make it harder? Why do you want to continue to spew anger, hate, disrespect and strife? Why do you continue a narrative that you so feverishly defend against? Why do you choose to divide instead of work towards unity? Why do you continue to demonize those who keep us safe and care about the community? Why do you hold anger against those you have no idea about? Why do you continue to act like those who you claim to disagree with, by claiming all act like one?

This has made a hard job even harder. This has broken the peacekeepers. I am afraid that for many, including my own, that this is now just too hard. It is a cost that is just too expensive for our family. In the end, hard will not be allowed to take everything from us. We will put it in God’s hands and let Him guide the way.

I will continue to write and talk about those things that make most uncomfortable. I will continue to do this even though it is hard.

3 thoughts on “Hard

    1. Sara, huge hugs to you, your family, Matt, and ALL peace keepers. I am sitting here at work in tears. Really i dont understand why anyone would argue with you – your points are so valid. Nothing really to argue about in order to keep the peace you need the peacemakers, it is just that simple!! All the love and respect for Matt and his fellow co-workers, we continue to pray for you all.


  1. Sara, please let Matt know that there are many who appreciate the hard work the police force does for communities. I now live in Tennessee but have family in Minnesota still that are actually Mpls Police Officers so I can just image what they are going through as well. My son just graduated from college with an associates degree in Criminal Law and has always wanted to be a police officer. He still has that thought in his mind but is also a little frightened by what is happening around the US. I pray every day that the police officers will remain safe and that people will once again respect and enjoy seeing them in their neighborhoods. Please continue to post your thoughts and stand by your faith in God.


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