Just Tired

I did not sleep well. I heard the dogs bark when he came in. I listened for the garage door to go up. Quietly, I walked downstairs to greet him in the kitchen. It is 4am. I watched him walk through the door. I watched this man whom I love walk as if he is carrying the weight of the world with him. I followed him down to his office to where he puts his things when he comes back from a shift. He moved slowly and methodically, like he is not really there. There was no discussion this early morning. There is nothing else to say.

I have my own ideas and opinions about the newest theories and approaches to how the powers that be are reacting to this horrific situation. As I swirl them around in my head, I keep coming back to the one that bothers me the very most. The public is beginning to call for the dismantling of the police department and civil rights investigations, going back 10 years, on every officer in the department. This is not theory or twitter rants. These are ideas that are being shouted by our Governor, Mayor and City Council Members. This my friends is a dangerous and unnerving reaction and I am trying to make sense of it in my mind.

Let us ponder for just a moment what that would look like. First and foremost, if you dismantle the police department, you will have much bigger problems on your hands. I wholeheartedly agree that there are systemic problems in this department. Big ones people! The officers that are there know this and fight internal and external barriers to helping the public each and every day. The problem is, if you take away those who are actually fighting the good fight, and have positive intentions and relationships with the community, you will create larger issues.

Second, do you really think that anyone in their right, ever-loving mind would choose this as a profession now? I am dead serious. This job sucks. It drains you, it changes your viewpoint on the world and people, it costs you relationships, it breaks down your body, and it eats at your soul. My husband constantly fights the inner voice that tells him all people suck. He knows this not to be true. But let me be clear, these brave men and women are HUMAN BEINGS! They are not ROBOTS! What the public, sitting behind their computers and typing rants are wanting is just that. I guarantee you people, that is not our solution.

My husband could easily retire any day. He has enough years on, and he would get a wonderful pension, which he has earned, and move on and never speak of this again. He will not be! He will not be leaving anytime soon because that is not what he believes is best for the people of Minneapolis. He will continue to dress each day and return to the fight, until they tell him he is no longer needed, because it is the right thing to do!

I fully believe that God is working through him to heal this community and bring about change. I hope that God is also working through those leaders who make decisions regarding what is best for Minneapolis. This is my prayer for today.

2 thoughts on “Just Tired

  1. You are an amazing woman! So is your husband and your children. Your family works well together – I think you also pray together, for you have great love for your community. It shows. First, I must say George Floyd should never had his life end in the manner it did. The actual protesters had the right to protest. But the events that followed – vandalism, looting and arson are not part of protesting. That was violent destruction by “thugs!” – outright anarchy. It had nothing to do with George Floyd.
    As I watched the events unfold every night on the television, it was generally a repeat from the nights prior. There was no leadership from our Governor, nor from either Minneapolis or St Paul mayors. No police, state troopers and no National Guard were on the scene. 2 1/2 hours after the looting started and buildings were set ablazing, including a U.S. Post Office and a Wells Fargo Bank, finally there appeared law enforcement. This falls on the leadership of this state. In the past 2 + years, I have witnessed events that Antifa and BLM caused serious harm to innocent individuals an Capiol Police and State Troopers just stood there – following the Governor’s orders to stand down. Some say the police force is broken – okay, there may be some bad cops, but there are more good cops than bad. But as a whole, the cops in general help people a heck of a lot more than bad cops hurt people. It all goes back to what kind of leadership this once fabulous state, and City of Minneapolis has. Right now, I’m not impressed! Our Governor and Mayor Frey stood by and let Minneapolis burn! Let’s see them try and blame that on the police! Walz and Frey were fiddling while Minneapolis burned! God bless the blue line!


    1. Dee Dee.
      Thank you so much for these beautiful words. I hope it helps someone to realize what is actually happening here from a different perspective. May God Bless you!


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